My Doctor Was Attracted To Me
I went to a new doctor recently. I was not having the best day ever. My hair was frazzled, and I put on the last pair of pants that was clean because I had not done the laundry. They were high water pants. Although I will admit some pants come up short because my legs are pretty long. I’ve got the same problem with shirts. My arms are long as well.
I’ve got what is called an aesthetically pleasing face. Very symmetrical. My facial features are often confused with someone of Sicilian descent, which is a section of Italy where darker Italians live. My nose is slender without the extra bone in there because I am only half Egyptian. My eyes are piercingly dark and people ask me if I am wearing mascara all the time but my eyes are painted with natural eye liner since the day I was born. This is a natural feature you will see in the eyes of many people in Egypt.
My other half is composed of Nigerian, Chinese and Spaniard. My skin color is olive based and my lips are naturally pursed like a doll.
One of the most interesting things about me is that I am an asexual virgin. It is not something I tell people. Rather people have come up to me and inquire about my sexuality.
I grew up with a verbally abusive father and in my case I have had a hard time connecting some dots. I don’t see men or women in a sexual manner. Everyone can be my friend but not a lover. No one can hold my hand or kiss me. I do not allow that.
Now back to the scenario! The doctor was greatly interested in me from the start. My appearance and my voice are pleasant. I have a nice clear Manhattan accent and an evenly toned pitch. I did not notice at first that he was greatly attracted to me. He asked why my pulse was high? I did not like that a doctor asked me a medical question and so I later googled that pulses may rise during sexual intercourse and understood his reference.
I told the doctor from the beginning that my father was in the waiting area and I needed the doctor to affirm some paperwork regarding my father. He said he would fill out the paperwork and later got coyly with me; insisting that I did not need to help my father at all. I explained to him that my father, who is also his patient, is very sick.
As the doctor approached me he took the time to stare at my breasts. He told me to take off my masks, which I did. Then he began to back up. I stopped looking at him for a few seconds. When I refocus myself on his face; he begins to have some stimulation down there. Lol.
Boy was I happy to be a girl at that moment! The doctor struggled to realign himself as he walked closer to me to evaluate the health condition of my face, hands and neck.
He reminded me of someone… My father (not in a sexual way of course.) Like my dad I could decipher that the doctor is an alpha male, ambitious and manipulative. I could not tell if he just wanted to sleep with me or marry, beat and control me.
He insisted that he needed to see me again in a month because of one minor concern. I explained to the doctor that I was going to Egypt and I would not be back in time for the follow up date which he desired to give.
I lied and told him I would come back soon and I ghosted him like my father did to me. Like when I was a kid waiting outside in the rain for 4 hours and my dad never came to take me to Old Navy like he said he would. That happened so many times.
Because I love men like John Mayer sang in his song. In “Daughters,” John Mayer sang “Fathers be good to your daughters. Daughters will love like you do.”
As he was leaving the room he said to me “Enjoy your trip to Egypt.” I said thank you and that was the end of that.
One thing that did bother me is that I did not understand the sexual feelings he felt. A feeling and act that God used to create more people I failed to understand and I was greatly bothered with myself.
There is only one book in the Bible I have never read… Songs of songs. I did not grow up seeing a healthy romantic relationship between a man and his wife. This particular book in the Bible takes you really in depth into the relationship between this couple. It is racy and very sexually suggestive.
My search for normalcy continues… Is it normal not to have a sexual relationship with someone when I am in my late thirties? Maybe not… But that is where I am at this stage of my life. I never did see a man. I never did hear a man!
